The Unhealthy Relationship We All Have With Technology

There are no shortage of books, articles, blog posts, and Instagram stories about “how to spot a sociopath,” or “how to know if you’re dating a sociopath.” The topic seems to be in vogue these days likely because traditional empathy and human conscience seems to be lacking in many parts of our digital world. It’s not surprising, because many of our core human responses rely on social cues and emotional intelligence.  In the technology world, these elements continue to remain elusive–hidden behind screens. Has our relationship with the digital world turned us all into irrational humans without conscience? (don’t answer that quite yet).

The question we pose is this: What happens when our technology devices (not just the online ecosystem) attempt to act more human, but instead begin to pick up and amplify the worst of the human behaviors?

With an increasing desire to make machines more human, have our technology devices and tools inherited some of the worst traits of humanity, rather than the best? Have we all voluntarily submitted to carrying around a toxic relationship wherever we go? Have we allowed technology companies to use digital tools to control us the same way we may end up in a toxic relationship with someone with psychopathic or sociopath tendencies?

The Sociopath Checklist

Here is a brief checklist of what psychologists use to determine if someone has sociopath traits. (this isn’t scientific, but rather a thought exercise)

• Glibness and Superficial Charm
• Manipulative and Conning
  They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
• Grandiose Sense of Self
  Feels entitled to certain things as “their right.”
• Pathological Lying
  Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
• Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
  A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
• Shallow Emotions
  When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
• Incapacity for Love
• Need for Stimulation
  Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
• Callousness/Lack of Empathy
  Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others’ feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
• Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
  Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
• Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
  Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet “gets by” by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
• Irresponsibility/Unreliability
  Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
• Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
  Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
• Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
  Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
• Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
  Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

demand attention

make you feel good and bad

cost a lot of money

superficial charm